Taylor Swift‘s song lyrics have always been deeply personal, to the point that it can feel like we know her intimately. Of course, we don’t really—but come January 31, we will all be privy to other sides of the superstar when her documentary, Miss Americana, debuts on Netflix.
The first trailer for the doc dropped Wednesday, January 22. And if it’s any indication, we’re getting a behind-the-scenes version of Swift at a pivotal time in her life and career that’s unlike anything we’ve seen before. It opens with Swift preparing to go on stage where “no one that I know of in the audience actively hates me.” She then tells herself to “not get dead face.”
“Throughout my whole career, record executives would just say, ‘A nice girl doesn’t force their opinions on people. A nice girl smiles and waves and says thank you,'” she says in a voiceover. “I became the person everyone wanted me to be.”
She talks about stepping away from the spotlight for a year because she thought that’s what people wanted and having to “deconstruct an entire belief system.” But there are lighter moments in the movie too, like the light-up shoes she wears in the recording studio and silly footage from her tour.
We also see some glimpses of her family, in particular her mom Andrea, who Swift revealed yesterday is battling a brain tumor. “While she was going through treatment, they found a brain tumor,” she told Variety. “And the symptoms of what a person goes through when they have a brain tumor is nothing like what we’ve ever been through with her cancer before. So it’s just been a really hard time for us as a family.”
Taylor Swift’s Miss Americana starts streaming on Netflix on January 31. Mark your calendars accordingly.