Basic Bride is a new wedding column from Vanderpump Rules star Stassi Schroeder. If you’re looking for advice, stop right here. But read on if you want honest, hilarious commentary on the trials of planning a wedding that millions of people will watch.
When I was younger, before I even got into relationships I thought could end in marriage, I always assumed I would get a prenup. Maybe it’s because both of my parents have been divorced three times. I don’t know. But to me, prenup doesn’t feel like a dirty word.
I know the very idea of a prenup seems contradictory to some people. They say, “Why marry if you’re planning for your divorce?” That’s not how I feel about it, though. I mean, no one goes into a marriage assuming divorce is an option. If you are, you shouldn’t be getting married. Other people say, “Just have a commitment ceremony.” But we want the same rights as a married couple. Marriage is a contract—and just like with any contract, there are rules, guidelines, and expectations. I think everyone should consider it, regardless of what you have in the bank.
People are surprised that I talk about getting a prenup so easily, but that’s how we should talk about it. There shouldn’t be this stigma about it. Prenups for so long have this sexist connotation—people think of gold diggers and things like that. Men who have a lot of money and are trying to protect it from women. That’s not what a prenup is about. It’s a mutually beneficial agreement so both partners feel safe and taken care of.
My fiancé, Beau, and I didn’t need to have a big conversation about it—you know, where one of us sat the other down and said, “How would you feel about a prenup?” He’s from a family of divorce too, so we both just knew that’s what we would do. And the more Beau and I talk about it, the more I realize we’re so in sync. We’re able to have those hard conversations. If I’m going to commit to someone for the rest of my life, I need to be able to talk about uncomfortable things like finances. I’ve found the whole experience to be romantic and sweet, in a way. We’re close enough to discuss anything. Nothing is off limits.