Kim Kardashian might present a heavily filtered life via her Instagram and other social media endeavors, but she got super-real when she described the effects that pregnancy had on her self-esteem—and sex life.
In a new interview with Richardson, an “erotica” magazine (in which she spoke with American Psycho author Bret Easton Ellis, no less), she opened up about how pregnancy altered her view of herself—and how she came back from it.
“I was somebody who gained 60 or 70 pounds in my pregnancies and felt so unlike myself and so unsexy,” she said.
During both pregnancies (she would have a surrogate for her third child), Kardashian dealt with preeclampsia and birthing complications.
“Literally, at the end, when you can’t even have sex, I thought, ‘I’m never going to have sex again in my life!’ I just felt so bad about myself in my soul,” she told the magazine.
Kardashian also said that motherhood has actually helped her feel “publicly sexy” now.
“I’m actually uncomfortable when I talk about sex,” she told the magazine. “But I’m vain like that. I can go on a set and be fully naked in front of 50 people doing a shoot, but if I’m one-on-one, intimate in bed, I’m, like, shy and insecure. I definitely have two different personalities like that. But I think motherhood has actually made me more confident about being publicly sexy.”
Apparently she also credits Kanye West with opening the doors to that meeting she had with Trump earlier this year, in which she asked Trump to pardon Alice Johnson, a 63-year-old formerly serving life in prison for a non-violent first-time offense.
“I am aware that Kanye speaking out in favor of Trump got me through the door — got him to pick up my call,” she said. “I’ve always had different opinions than Kanye. But when I went there, and when I saw what could be done, I realized that I could get more done if I just stayed focused on the issue I was passionate about instead of complaining.”