No One Asked About Abortion at the Third Democratic Debate. With Kirsten Gillibrand Out of the Race, No One Brought It Up, Either

It has become an almost tragic joke. Another marathon television event with hours of talk about healthcare, but no mention of abortion, birth control, Title X, or President Donald Trump’s crusade against Planned Parenthood. Last night, ABC News held the third 2020 debate Houston. It was also the third presidential debate ever to include more than one token “woman” on stage, which was good and historic, but you might not have known it from the conversation.

At the end of what felt like four thousand hours of discussion about guns, war, Medicare For All, and immigration, I counted zero questions about not just abortion, but paid leave, child care, or the lethal misogyny that has become its own national crisis in America. The moderators did ask (more than once) about health care, but no candidates used those opportunities to talk about abortion, such a common procedure that more than one in four women have one at some point in their lifetimes.

Instead, we had health care debates that focus on prescription drugs, but didn’t mention a prescription drug that millions of women take daily—the pill. While the candidates made their disdain for our current president clear, none mentioned the fact that he once suggested women should be punished for having abortions, has been accused of sexual assault over a dozen times, or cheated on his third wife with an adult film star whom he then disparaged and paid off. In short, to claim that the President of the United States is a misogynist seems almost unfair to misogynists. He’s at war with 51 percent of the population, some of whom, sure, vote for him. But his relentless crusade against women’s rights is treated as basically a political ploy and not an actual ideology with deadly consequences.

Or at least, that’s how it’s treated now that Senator Kirsten Gillibrand (D-N.Y.) is out of the race. In her campaign and at debates, Gillibrand repeatedly raised “women’s issues.” But she dropped out of the race a few weeks ago, because she couldn’t qualify for last night’s debate and also because a lot of people still blame her for kneecapping former Senator Al Franken for (of course!) his alleged mistreatment of women.

To be honest, I was never a Gillibrand fan. From the start, there were other candidates I liked better. But I also can admit I found her “grating” and even a little “unlikable,” which, sure, could be the internalized sexism talking. Regardless, last night, it occurred to me that the only person who had even tried to center Me Too, women’s healthcare, sexual assault, paid leave, and those other denigrated “women’s issues” in their campaign was Kirsten Gillibrand. Gillibrand was for women what Washington Governor Jay Inslee was for climate, taking an under-discussed, but urgent issue and making it the center of her campaign. She and he have both since dropped out of the race (even as lesser candidates like Marianne Williamson and Mayor Bill De Blasio remain). But while Inslee’s proposals on climate have been praised across the board and Elizabeth Warren liked them so much she adopted his entire plan, Gillibrand’s platform has been more or less erased. It’s as if what candidates learned from Gillibrand’s run is…not to talk about women at all.

‘Wild’ Author Cheryl Strayed Knows the Secret to Finding Love After Loss

I really, really, really, really grieved the loss of my first marriage, even though I was the one who said, “I don’t want to be married anymore. Let’s end this.” But it was a different kind of grief than the grief I had for my mom. I’ll always grieve my mom. It’ll be a loss that will always be a hard one for me. The loss of my first marriage was a temporary grief; it was a temporary loss.

There shouldn’t be this timeline for grief. I think pathologizing pain is something that our culture does quite well. You should be sad if somebody you love deeply dies. That’s a normal response to a really sad, hard thing that happened. The first [step to healing] is to accept that sorrow is real and it’s going to take some time for it to lift. And then once it does lift a bit, to accept that—to accept that that’s not a sign of your lack of love, or commitment, or dedication to that person, but that it’s really that your loss is shifting into something a little deeper, where you’re starting to say, “I realize that this thing is true. This is a fact. My dad isn’t going to reappear like a magic genie and be there in my life again, ever again,” or, “My mom isn’t.”

We have to carry it—to say that the person is gone forever, but at the same time will always be present, so that in the absence of the beloved, there is a profound presence that we can make manifest in our lives by the things we do, and live, and believe, and say.

I love my kids the same way my mother loved me, and perhaps that’s the most powerful way I’ve carried her; I’ve carried that full-throttle-wild-abandon-imperfect-but-without-any-question-it’s-there love that I got from my mom, and I give it to my kids and they carry it forward. They’ll carry it onward. She’s alive in them; she’s alive in their spirits even though they never met her.

The power of vulnerability is also truly magic. Vulnerability, I’ve become convinced, is the way to get love. And of course, many of us decide not to be vulnerable because we’re afraid. But vulnerability is the way to get love, romantic or otherwise. The minute you’re the one who says, “I’m afraid right now,” or, “I’m missing my mom,” or, “I am in the midst of a divorce,” the minute you simply say what’s true, people open themselves up to you, and they offer you consolation—an essential connection.

I think that so much of loving well is about courage. It’s about telling the truth as soon as possible, as often as you can. That’s the secret to a good life, and that’s about vulnerability. Vulnerability is simply telling the truth about who you are, as often as you can, in any given situation. And nobody said any of this was going to be easy. If you’re looking for love again, there’s just no way around the fact that you have to be vulnerable in order to connect with others. Nobody’s going to love a cardboard-box version of you. Nobody wants to feel like they’re knocking at a closed door when they’re in a relationship with you. We want the real, juicy, meaty you. We want the tender stuff on the inside.

The Best Hair Products Launching in September 2019

Who needs a good hair day when you can have a whole good hair month? It’s bound to happen, considering the slew of newcomers hitting shelves this September. And in hair care, that’s a big deal, because just one new formula can make all the difference in your strands. We washed, spritzed, and scrunched our way through the new hair products that landed on our desks. From the prettiest pins to an Instagram-able scalp scrub, we’re confident one of these products will upgrade your hair routine. Scroll on shop the best hair products launching this month, and check in as we add more of our favorites.

How to Wear Florals This Fall

Once upon a time, florals were a print you’d only think to wear between April and August. (As they say… Groundbreaking.) But designers are keeping the pattern in bloom well into fall/winter in 2019, as evidenced by recent runway showings from Balenciaga, Giambattista Valli, Coach, among others. Suddenly, florals are almost as important as black-on-black for the cooler seasons. (Now, we did say almost.) These prints may be a bit darker and moodier than the ones we’ve been wearing throughout spring and summer, but they’re no less lovely: From silky sets that feel as cozy as your PJs to incredible embroidered jackets that make any #OOTD look like a million bucks, see all the ways to incorporate florals into your Fall 2019 wardrobe.

Kourtney Kardashian Got Scalp Injections to Treat a Bald Spot

Ever since she figured out how to manage her relationship with Scott Disick, Kourtney Kardashian‘s storylines on Keeping Up With the Kardashians have been a relatively drama-free. But during the show’s season 17 (!!!) premiere Sunday night, the eldest sister was facing a beauty emergency.

During a scene with Kim, the sisters discuss a not-small bald spot that has formed on the top of Kourt’s head. “Kourtney, you have a really big spot on the top of your head,” Kim said. “Look down, Kourtney. Oh my god, I’m afraid for your life. Have you seen that?” “No, but I feel it,” Kourtney replied. “It’s a hole in my head. I swear it’s from my ponytail, it was so tight that I had a bump on my head like this.” Obviously, Kim is being overly dramatic, but the spot is noticeable in the clip below.

“Hair loss is not always genetic in nature,” Dr. Steve Fallek, plastic surgeon and medical director at BeautyFix Med Spa, tells Glamour. “Physical and mechanical stress can weaken and even damage the hair follicle leading to hair loss. Tight ponytails can certainly pull your hair out of the hair follicle and is a common cause of hair loss. Coloring your hair or treating your hair with harsh chemicals can also contribute to this. Weight loss, nutritional changes, medications, as well as stress are other typical factors for hair loss.”

Of course, when you’re a Kardashian, you have pretty much any beauty treatment available to you at any given moment, so Kourtney heads to see Dr. Jason Diamond later in the episode to address the bald spot with scalp injections. “Today I’m getting PRP [platelet-rich plasma], which is where they take your blood and spin it and they use your plasma and they inject it in my head for my hair to grow back,” she said.

Plasma treatments for conditions like alopecia are becoming more popular, and Kourtney did a pretty good job explaining the basics. Blood is taken from the patient and put into a centrifuge to separate out the plasma that will then be used for the injections. According to the Cleveland Clinic, the plasma “helps repair blood vessels, promote cell growth and wound healing, and stimulate collagen production.”

“Given its name, PRP is rich in platelets which have a large number of multiple growth factors, which help the hair follicles to grow,” Fallek says. “The PRP is then injected into your scalp where there is hair loss. A topical anesthetic is normally applied prior to injections and the treatment takes about five to 10 minutes.” He says that treatment is varied, but that most doctors will inject areas of alopecia monthly for three months initially and then twice a year for maintenance. You can expect to notice improvement after two to three months.”

Here’s hoping Kourt gives us an hair growth update soon.

15 Best Pearl Hair Clips: How to Style and Which to Buy

The biggest hair trend right now has nothing to do with a haircut or color—it’s actually all about accessories, specifically pearl hair clips. It started out as trickle: First scrunchies made their long-awaited return at Mansur Gavriel’s spring 2018 show, then Prada sent padded satin headbands down the runway. Soon after, other hair accessories from the ’90s started showing up everywhere. Think snap clips, bedazzled bobby pins, hair barrettes—sometimes worn all at once.

There are so many hair accessories to choose from now, it’s slightly overwhelming, but if you need a good place to start, pearl hair clips are where it’s at. They immediately dress up any look but don’t feel quite as proper as string of pearls (just look at the latest Rodarte lookbook for proof). Not only are they easy to wear—styling is as simple as popping one on and you’re done—they can also be styled in endless ways.

If you don’t like your hair in your face, you can easily style one on each side.

Take a page from hairstylist Justine Marjan and stack as many as you can along a ponytail or one side of your hairline. It might feel like too much as you’re doing it, but after you’ve got them all on, it actually looks intentional not to mention incredibly chic.

But if that’s too much, you can be more subtle and tuck a bobby pin behind your ear.

Bonus: since so many pearl clips are sold in sets, it makes them easy to mix and match.

The most important bit of information about this trend, though, is that it’s incredibly affordable too. You can buy pearl hair clips for as little as $6 on Amazon.

Pearl Hair Clips

Amazon

$5.99

Buy Now

And if you do want to splurge, there are plenty of designer options too. Oscar de la Renta, Loeffler Randall, and Jennifer Behr all have their own takes. Shop all of our favorite pearl hair clips below.

Mango Hairclip Set

Mango

$25.99

Buy Now

Oscar de la Renta Imitation Pearl Barrette

Shopbop

$220

Buy Now

Margot Pearl Circle Hair Clip

Urban Outfitters

$16

Buy Now

Jennifer Behr Valerie Flip Clip

Shopbop

$58

Buy Now

Ettika 4-Pack Imitation Pearl Hair Pins

Nordstrom

$40

Buy Now

Loeffler Randall Lou Large Heart Barrette

Shopbop

$95

Buy Now

Tasha Crystal Jaw Clip

Nordstrom

$25

Buy Now

Deepa Gurnani Deepa By Deepa Gurnani Yasmina Hair Clips

Shopbop

$35

Buy Now

LOCOLO 20 Pieces Pearls Hair Clips

Amazon

$12.99

Buy Now

Lelet NY Mattar Pearl Barrete

Shopbop

$148

Buy Now

Victoria Vintage Pearl Hair Pin Set

Urban Outfitters

$14

Buy Now

Free People Merci Pearl Slide Set

Free People

$12

Buy Now

Free People Multi Pearl Bobby Set

Free People

$16

Buy Now

8 Other Reasons Cora Resin & Imitation Pearl Hair Clip

Nordstrom

$29

Buy Now

Tara Gonzalez is the associate commerce editor at Glamour. Follow her on Instagram @tarigonzalez.

Charli XCX Interview: The Pop Star of the Future on Partying, Her New Album, and More

Her fans feel free, too. That’s evident from the scene I witnessed at her show in June. When I tell Charli that my group of friends, all massive fans, see dancing at clubs as an almost spiritual exercise, she gets it. “Oh, definitely,” she says. “I’m not religious at all, but I feel like, yeah, if you want to take it there: The club or a party can be a church for somebody. It’s like a community of people who are just letting go and being free. It’s like gay church.”

If a random club is gay church, then a Charli XCX show is the gay Vatican. Her fans, aptly nicknamed “Angels,” are some of the most devout in stan culture. Charli tells me they’re a huge reason why she’s so fearless in her work. “After Pop 2, I felt the most connected I’ve ever felt to my fanbase. That was really me just doing me 100 percent. No filter,” she says. “[My fans] really care about me, and I really care about them. We’re speaking the same language, and maybe nobody else gets that language, but we totally understand. I just feel my music is now a safe space for me to be really honest. I don’t feel afraid.”

Charli was, however, afraid a few years ago, when a fan crashed her party early. In 2017, she was readying the release of what was supposed to be her third album, but a hacker broke into her Google drive and leaked several demos. And her phone number. People happily gobbled up the new material and even gave it a fake name, XCX World. Charli felt like she’d lost control.

“People call it XCX World, but I hadn’t even titled it,” she says. “There was no title. There was no track list yet. From fans’ perspective, if people want music, they feel like they’re helping you by hacking and releasing it. But it was an extreme invasion of my personal privacy and my life. People had my phone number. I didn’t feel safe at all. It made me feel like all this hard work, all this money I’d put into recording, all the producers I’d paid, all the time, and all the flights I’d taken, were just thrown back in my face.”

Getty Images

So she scrapped the project and started from square one, which she admits took some time. “It made me scared to literally do anything because I was like, ‘Is my whole life just going to get put on the Internet against my will?’ I definitely lost my confidence, for sure. I felt scared to make anything because I was worried it was just going to get released.”

Ariana Grande, Miley Cyrus, and Lana Del Rey Just Dropped a Music Video—and People Are Freaking Out

Good morning, angels.

Or perhaps I shouldn’t say that, at least according to the lyrics to the new song from Ariana Grande, Miley Cyrus, and Lana Del Rey—”Don’t Call Me Angel.” That’s right: Three of the biggest names in pop music got together to record a track for the upcoming Charlie’s Angels reboot starring Kristen Stewart, Naomi Scott, and Ella Balinska—and directed by Elizabeth Banks.

The lyrics are definitely fitting for both these singers and the vibe of Charlie’s Angels. Could this verse sound more like Miley? “Uh, don’t call me angel when I’m a mess / Don’t call me angel when I get undressed / You know I, I don’t like that, boy / Uh, I make my money, and I write the checks / So say my name with a little respect / All my girls successful, and you’re just our guest.”

Then, Ariana chimes in with, “See you here with somebody / You sizin’ up my body, oh yeah / Don’t you know that I bite when the sun set? Yeah, so don’t you try come around me / Might work with her, but not me, oh yeah / Don’t you know that I bite when the sun set?”

And finally Lana closes us out by singing, “I appreciate the way you watch me, I can’t lie / I drop it down, I pick it up, I back it off the county line / I fell from Heaven, now I’m living like a devil / You can’t get me off your mind.”

The video plays into the singers’ public personas, as you can see for yourself, below.

Obviously, fans on social media are very excited about this. “I love how they changed nothing from their personalities to their type of music to make it fit into one song,” one fan tweeted. “Lana is uniquely lana, Ariana is uniquely Ariana and miley is uniquely miley. I LOVE THIS.”

Charlie’s Angels opens in theaters on November 15.

11 Spring 2020 Fashion Trends You Need to Know

The results—and by that, we mean the spring 2020 fashion trends—are in.

At New York Fashion Week, designers presented bold, optimistic collections covering everything from evening wear to lingerie. Despite the growing trend towards see-now-buy-now (as in, what you see on the runway becomes immediately available for purchase), most of the pieces seen on the runway are for spring 2020, which means they won’t deliver until early next year. If you want ideas for what to wear in the near future, you can look to street style. But the retail delay won’t stop the most style-savvy folks from incorporating tangerines, butter-yellows, and pistachio-greens into their wardrobes ASAP.

Even if you can’t shop every single look you saw on the runway, you can start making note of the overarching themes for next season. So strap on your Tevas: From the colors everyone’s going to be wearing in six months to the obligatory floral print, here are the top spring 2020 fashion trends you need to know, straight from the New York runways.

Serena Williams Wants Everyone to Know What a Great Friend Meghan Markle Is

Serena Williams and Meghan Markle are two of the most well-known women in the world. But, to each other, they’re just really good friends. Like, the kind of friends who will fly across the ocean to support each other in their big moments.

Williams, of course, was among the famous guests when Markle married Prince Harry on the world’s stage back in May 2018. And the Duchess of Sussex has very publicly showed up for her tennis star friend at Wimbledon and most recently, the U.S. Open finals in New York City.

The Duchess of Sussex made the solo trip—sans Harry and baby Archie—just ahead of ending her royal maternity leave, and Williams wants everyone to know how much it meant to her. “Meghan is amazing,” she told E! News at the fashion show for her S by Serena line. “She literally flew across the seas just to support for a few hours with a newborn baby.”

Gotham/Getty Images

“She is the most positive, amazing human that I know,” Williams continued. “Everyone needs to know how amazing she is. I don’t know if I could have done that with my daughter at that age. But she did it. And that shows the kind of person that she is.”

Markle released a fashion line of her own this week in her official return from maternity leave. The “Smart Set” capsule collection benefits one of her royal patronages, Smart Works, with a one-to-one model. For every item purchased, that same item will be donated to the charity, which helps outfit women looking for jobs.

Female friendship and support playing out on the world’s stage? You love to see it. Now, would it be too much to ask to get some photos of a play date between Williams’s daughter, Olympia, and little Archie? Probably, but a girl can dream.