Yes, Mandy Moore is Nice—But ‘There’s More to Who I Am’

Anyone who knows Mandy Moore will tell you she’s the nicest person they’ve ever met. Interviews refer to the 34-year-old as “America’s sweetheart” and “ the friend you’ve always wanted.” And while she appreciates the platitudes, they also make her a little uneasy. “I think those particular descriptors prevented me from finding momentum, workwise, because people saw me in one light,” she says. “There’s more to who I am.” Moore was only 15 when her hit song “Candy” debuted in 1999. She toured with *NSYNC and the Backstreet Boys and starred in beloved teen movies like The Princess Diaries and A Walk to Remember. She wasn’t a tabloid fixture like her peers Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera, which gave her freedom to build her film résumé (Saved!, License to Wed) while still releasing music.

But there was personal upheaval behind the scenes. When Moore was 23, her mother left her father after 30 years of marriage for a woman. Moore discovered the relationship by accident, during a Christmas trip to North Carolina in a plot twist worthy of This Is Us: While setting up a laptop for her mom, she saw an email draft addressed to her. “I thought, Why is Mom writing me?” Moore says. “It was basically her telling us how she had fallen in love with a friend and was going to leave Dad.” It was the family’s last vacation together. Moore’s reaction was to protect her father, but as time passed—and through plenty of therapy—she came to understand her mom’s decision. “At the time I was left with no choice but to compartmentalize what was happening,” she says. Now “everyone is in a much better space, and they’re with the people that are better suited for them. All of that is a very happy ending, but it didn’t come without real struggle.”

What came next: Moore married musician Ryan Adams. “I couldn’t control what happened to my immediate family, but I could control starting my own.” She pauses, then adds, “Not the smartest decision. I didn’t choose the right person.”

Their marriage ended six years later, and Moore was ready for a new chapter. She felt “spiritually and fundamentally stuck” leading up to the divorce, and her career and friendships suffered for it. “I don’t feel guilty for it. I don’t fault myself for it,” she says of the divorce. “When people said, ‘I’m sorry,’ I was like, ‘No. Sorry would have been had I stayed in a very unhealthy situation.’ I didn’t. I found my way out. And when I did, things opened back up again.”

One of those things was This Is Us, which came at a time when Moore felt her career was at a standstill. She plays matriarch Rebecca Pearson, which often puts her at the center of the show’s deeply emotional storylines. “I’ve never been a part of something that means so much to the outside world,” Moore says. “It means just as much to all of us.”

It’s why Moore feels as wowed by the show now, at the start of season three, as she did when it premiered two years ago. “This Is Us has allowed me to show people that I’m not perpetually stuck in the realm of teen romantic comedies,” she says. “I’m a woman now. I’ve been married and divorced. I’ve had ups and downs, professionally and personally.”

Another thing that opened back up? Her love life. She met fiancé Taylor Goldsmith, front man of folk-rock group Dawes, in 2015. (It was a truly modern meet-cute: She posted a photo on Instagram praising the band, and Goldsmith contacted her to say thanks.) “I was still dealing with the trauma of my divorce when we started dating,” she says. “Taylor was steadfast in his support—that was a huge sign for me.” They’ve renovated a home together in Pasadena, and Moore tears up as she talks about getting married “later this year.” “He makes me melt. I can imagine no better partner,” she says. “He’s going to be the most tremendous father. I view the past as a stepping-stone to get me where I am today. I would gladly weather all of that a million times over if it brought me to Taylor again.”

Yigal Azrouël dress, $795. Jennifer Fisher stud, $195. Vince Camuto bracelet, $58.

Yes, kids are in the picture, but don’t pressure her about it. “Maybe it’s true [about the biological clock], but fuck that narrative,” she says. Besides, the couple hopes to adopt, “so that will be a part of our lives, God willing.” Moore also plans to return to the recording studio. “I feel ready now,” she says. “I allowed other people’s perception of who I am and what I should be doing and how I should be doing it to permeate my relationship to music.”

Milo Ventimiglia, who plays her onscreen husband Jack, sees how she’s moving past her self-proclaimed “people pleaser” title: “She likes people happy, but she’s not a pleaser,” he says. “She just cares. She truly cares, both about the work and the experience.”

Moore has other goals for the future, including writing, directing, and producing. “If I’m not going to take advantage of the doors that have been opened because of This Is Us to shape the stories that I want to see,” she says, “then what’s the point? After years of not being able to find things that I felt challenged by, it’s really cool to potentially be in a position to find material and help create it.”

Whatever happens, though, Moore thinks her thirties and forties will bring good things. “You give less of a shit about how the world perceives you,” she says. “Now it’s more important to me to be self-satisfying. And I’m better at that. It just comes with time.”

Season three of This Is Us is on NBC now. Jessica Radloff is Glamour’s West Coast editor.
Don’t miss Glamour’s other two November 2018 cover stars Susan Kelechi Watson and Chrissy Metz
This story originally appeared in the November 2018 Issue of Glamour.
Solo Cover: Cushnie et Ochs blazer. Jennifer Fisher studs. For Moore’s smoky liner, try Maybelline New York Lasting Drama Matte Eyeliner in Jet Black ($6, drugstores). Get tousled waves like hers with Garnier Fructis Root Amp Root Lifting Spray Mousse ($4, drugstores). Hair: Jenn Streicher, makeup: Ashley Streicher, both at traceymattingly.com; manicure: Michelle Saunders; set design: Bryan Porter; production: Viewfinders.

Chrissy Metz Is Finally Doing Whatever She Wants

After years of feeling insecure about it, Chrissy Metz finally wore a swimsuit on vacation. “I grew up wearing a T-shirt at the pool. As an adult, I was like, I’m gonna find a bathing suit I like and I’m gonna wear it,” she tells me from the driver’s seat of her Audi SUV, which we’re sitting in to escape the Los Angeles heat. “And there were people, like, ‘Oh my God, look at you! You know I could never do that.’ ” She laughs. “It’s a backhanded compliment, but I’m doing what I want to do.”

Metz’s newfound do-what-I-want mentality has been 38 years in the making. Born in Homestead, Florida, she spent her early years in Japan with her mother, older brother and sister, and father, who worked at a bar off the Yokosuka Navy base. Her parents divorced, and her mom planted the family back in Florida. After years of struggle—“our electricity was shut off a lot,” she revealed in her memoir, This Is Me—they moved in with her mom’s soon-to-be new husband Trigger, who would weigh Metz in their kitchen. (Trigger has denied this, telling Entertainment Tonight, “None of it’s true…. I love her very much just like I always have.”)

At 20, while chaperoning her younger sister Morgana to a modeling casting call, Metz caught the eye of a talent scout. She moved to L.A. in 2005 and spent nine years working as a talent agent (her clients included a young Ariana Grande) before landing a small part in American Horror Story: Freak Show. But the acting offers were few and far between; Metz reached a breaking point in fall 2015 with only 81 cents in her bank account. “There were a couple weeks when I was like, Chrissy, you’re delusional,” she recalls. “I just remember holding on to something I couldn’t really see but I knew was there deep, deep down. And then it sort of all just happened.”

It happened in the form of This Is Us, which has earned Metz both Emmy and Golden Globe nominations. As Kate Pearson, she’s one of the most complex characters on prime-time TV and teaches us to have empathy for Kate’s anxieties about things like dancing at parties or fitting into airplane seats. This Is Us also presents Kate as a fully realized character: Last season saw her grappling with a miscarriage, her father’s death, and growing pains with her fiancé, Toby (Chris Sullivan). “People who’ve never been overweight don’t understand what it all entails. They think you’re just sitting in the corner and all you do is eat,” she says. “My thing is, Let’s get to the real issues—because the food is the symptom; it’s not the issue. Everyone’s filling a void with something.”

For Metz, that void was all about boundaries. “There are so many times in my life that I didn’t express how I felt,” she says. “Now I really try to remember, OK, Chrissy, this is your life, and you are entitled to do what you want.” In March she revealed she and her boyfriend of almost two years, a former cameraman on the show, broke up. She’s since gone on a handful of dates and has even tried the apps—“I don’t know if people genuinely like me or the lifestyle or who they think I am,” she says—but doesn’t always pick the right guys. “I’m sort of discovering that I attract people who are broken,” she says. “It’s tricky, but I wear my heart on my sleeve.”

Tanya Taylor custom dress, $550.

This authenticity is the first thing people notice about Metz. “I trusted her immediately,” says Justin Hartley, who plays Kate’s brother Kevin, “and I don’t trust anyone immediately.” When I ask co-showrunner Elizabeth Berger what it’s like to work with Metz, she immediately mentions her heart. “Chrissy loves and feels the show deeply, and you can feel it in every interaction she has on set,” she says. It’s led Berger and her team to try to weave Metz’s personal interests, like singing, into Kate’s storylines. Music is a huge passion, and she hopes to release an album down the line. “I really want to do maybe some pop-country or country,” Metz says. “I would love to produce some film, maybe eventually be in a musical and have a production company.”

For now, she’s busy acting. Up next is Breakthrough, in which she’ll play a mom who uses prayer to resuscitate her son. The film, based on a true story, is one of Metz’s first projects that has nothing to do with weight—something she hopes keeps happening. “People are still surprised that a big girl could be on TV, and it’s like, Ugh, really? Really?” she says. “There’s so much other stuff to talk about.”

Glamour’s November 2018 Cover Stars: Chrissy Metz, Mandy Moore, Susan Kelechi Watson

Ever since the award-winning NBC drama This Is Us hit TV screens two years ago, audiences have remained unshakably captivated by the series. The reason? Aside from its tense storyline and an ability to give its audience a dependable, cathartic cry each week, the show brings with it a certain authenticity, thanks in large part to its characters—specifically its female characters—and the actresses that bring them to life. Led by Mandy Moore, Chrissy Metz, and Susan Kelechi Watson, the show’s female cast has had a pop cultural influence that extends far beyond the small screen—which made the trio the perfect stars for our November cover.

November Cover

PHOTO: Captured on Google Pixel 3, photo by Victor Demarchelier

Now in their third season of the hit series, Metz, Moore and Watson have tackled a wide range of complex issues that deeply resonate with female viewers today. Metz’s character Kate Pearson, for instance, has grappled with fertility issues, undergoing IVF consultations and even experiencing a heartbreaking miscarriage in the show’s second season, while Moore’s Rebecca struggles with feelings of postpartum depression when she first brings her newborns home from the hospital. Susan Kelechi Watson’s performance as Beth Pearson in the show resonated so strongly with viewers that, when rumors of her character possibly being killed off of the show began circulating, the Twitterverse nearly imploded. But, as Watson explains in her interview with Glamour, its the audience’s emotional attachment to her character that makes the story feel so important. “It’s always really cool as an actor to have a character that people want to see the best for,” she told Ramou Sarr. “To know that people are behind her, to know that people are rocking with her and get her.”

Rarely does a TV cast have such an impact, but these three women are definitively moving the needle forward when it comes to the stories being told on the small screen, and the women who are able to tell them. “I couldn’t be more grateful to be on this journey with these two ladies,” Moore told Glamour of her two costars. “I stand in awe of their power as women and everything they bring to the table.”

Well, so do we.

Catch all three of our cover stars on This Is Us, Tuesdays on NBC.

Meghan Markle Is Reportedly Giving Wedding Tips to Princess Eugenie

When planning her upcoming wedding to Jack Brooksbank, Princess Eugenie turned to someone who has been there, done that. According to the Daily Mail, Princess Eugenie asked none other than Meghan Markle for some help with her wedding plans. The meeting reportedly took place when Princess Eugenie and Brooksbank visited Markle and Prince Harry at their country home at Oxfordshire’s Great Tew Estate.

With the wedding scheduled for October 12, more information about the highly anticipated nuptials have started to come into focus. Earlier this week, the palace shared details about the royal wedding cake. “Princess Eugenie of York and Mr Brooksbank have asked London based cake designer Sophie Cabot to make their wedding cake,” the palace said in a press release. “The red velvet and chocolate cake will be a traditional cake, with a modern feel. It will incorporate the rich colours of autumn in its design and will be covered with detailed sugar work including ivy.”

We also know that Princess Eugenie is expecting around 850 guests, which is considerably more than the 600 that attended Markle’s wedding. The major common thread between the two weddings will be the venue. Like Markle before her, Princess Eugenie will tie the knot at St. George’s Chapel in Windsor. Princess Eugenie will also have a carriage procession similar to Markle’s. “The carriage will process through the grounds of Windsor Castle, departing via Castle Hill to proceed along part of the High Street before returning to the Castle via Cambridge Gate,” the palace press release added.

As for performers, it’s been revealed that Andrea Bocelli and members of the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra are scheduled to perform two songs during the ceremony. You can watch it all unfold on Friday, October 12, on TLC.

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Kate Middleton and Prince William Made Their First Joint Appearance Since Welcoming Prince Louis

Prince William and Kate Middleton are back on the royal circuit for the first time since the birth of Prince Louis, and they’re doing it for a good cause. The pair’s first joint engagement since the birth of their third child in April was for the inaugural Global Ministerial Mental Health Summit, according to People. The initiative was launched to help raise awareness of mental health issues around the world.

Middleton looked absolutely radiant in a lilac Emilia Wickstead dress, which People points out, she previously wore last year in Germany. The recycled dress was fitting for the occasion, which saw the couple show off their artistic sides by painting with the Colombian artist Dairo Vargas. While inside the meeting, which took place at County Hall on the south banks of the River Thames in London, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge also listened to presentations that detailed the work of mental health programs in both Slovenia and the U.S., People reports.

Kate Middleton and Prince William Step Out for First Joint Engagement Since Prince Louis' Birth 1

PHOTO: Karwai Tang/Getty Images

Kate Middleton and Prince William Step Out for First Joint Engagement Since Prince Louis' Birth 2

PHOTO: WPA Pool/Getty Images

It’s a cause that’s clearly close to their hearts, as Prince William recently spoke about mental health in the workplace, and how his own work as a first responder affected him. “I took a lot home without realizing it,” he said at a mental health event in Bristol, according to People. “You see [so] many sad things every day that you think life is like that.” Middleton meanwhile, joined students at an outdoor recreation center last week, where she listened to teachers explain the value of being around nature and how it can help children’s mental health and development, People reports.

Kate Middleton and Prince William Step Out for First Joint Engagement Since Prince Louis' Birth 3

PHOTO: WPA Pool/Getty Images

Middleton and Prince William have been doing their part to spread mental health awareness in recent years, after they joined forces with Prince Harry in 2016 to launch the Heads Together campaign. Fittingly, the couple’s most recent outing came one day ahead of World Mental Health Day.

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30 Pretty Wedding Hairstyles for Every Hair Length

Whether you’re heading to city hall, opting for a vineyard, or going big on a destination location, there’s no way around it: A wedding is a big deal. And just as tough as deciding on your photographer and choosing flowers is figuring out what you’re going to do with your hair and makeup on your wedding day. Luckily, we’re giving you one less thing to worry about with our ultimate guide to bridal hair inspiration. No matter if you have short hair, long hair, or something in between, we rounded up the most beautiful wedding hairstyles from Bridal Fashion Week, the bi-annual event that sets the tone for upcoming bridal trends and fresh takes on the classics. Click on for the most breathtaking ponytails, updos, braids, and more.

Taylor Swift’s Political Post Is Having a Massive Effect on Voter Registration

On Sunday night, October 7, Taylor Swift made a rare political statement on Instagram, endorsing the Democratic nominees for Tennessee’s Senate and House of Representatives (Phil Bredesen and Jim Cooper, respectively). Soon after, her post racked up more than 1.7 million likes and started trending on Twitter.

“I always have and always will cast my vote based on which candidate will protect and fight for the human rights I believe we all deserve in this country,” she wrote in the caption. “I believe in the fight for LGBTQ rights, and that any form of discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender is WRONG. I believe that the systemic racism we still see in this country towards people of color is terrifying, sickening and prevalent. I cannot vote for someone who will not be willing to fight for dignity for ALL Americans, no matter their skin color, gender or who they love.” Swift ended her post with a call to action, urging everyone—particularly her fans in Tennessee—to register to vote.

And now, we might be seeing the effect of Swift’s message. Vote.org is up 65,000 voter registrations in the last 24 hours, according to Kamari Guthrie, director of communications for the website. (Swift directed fans specifically to the site in her Instagram post.) According to BuzzFeed, 190,178 voters were registered in September and 56,669 were registered in August—so the fact Swift caused a 65,000 spike in just 24 hours is impressive.

Swift’s home state of Tennessee also had a similar jump. “Vote.org saw [Tennessee] registrations spike specifically since Taylor’s post,” Guthrie told BuzzFeed. The website received 5,183 new registrations in Tennessee this month, and 2,144 of those came from the last 36 hours. Compare that to the 2,811 new voter registrations for all of September and just 951 in August. Vote.org even had a spike in traffic after Swift’s post, with 155,940 unique visitors checking out the site in the past 24 hours, according to BuzzFeed. That’s a new high for Vote.org, coming only behind the 304,942 visitors who went to the site on National Voter Registration Day (September 25).

Of course, not everyone is behind Swift’s message. Conservative men came out in droves yesterday to criticize the singer. “What I used to love about Taylor Swift is she stayed away from politics,” Charlie Kirk, the founder and president of Turning Point USA, said on Fox & Friends.

Former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee (R) even took shots at Swift’s fans. “So @taylorswift13 has every right to be political but it won’t impact election unless we allow 13 yr old girls to vote,” he posted on Monday morning. “Still with #MarshaBlackburn.” The Swifties quickly hit back at Huckabee for his faulty logic. “I love how everyone thinks her fanbase is only 13 year olds,” one wrote. “She’s been in the business for 12 years, so a lot of her fanbase are in their 20s and 30s now. I’m 24.”

Even President Donald Trump put in his two-cents. “Let’s say that I like Taylor’s music about 25 percent less now,” he said when asked about Swift’s endorsements.

How this will affect Swift’s career at large is still a mystery. The singer wrapped the U.S. leg of her Reputation Stadium Tour before releasing this statement, so there won’t be any new ticket sales to analyze. Some have speculated she may lose followers on Twitter or Instagram, but her numbers have by and large stayed the same over the past two days. We clocked Swift’s Instagram followers yesterday at 112,086,524. Today, we recorded 112,119,128. On Twitter, she’s at 83,553,485 followers; we noted 83,540,926 yesterday. (We also reached out to Instagram and Twitter for comment and will update with that information.)

As an artist with a devout country fanbase—many of whom are conservative—Swift is risking her popularity by speaking out. But it seems Swift isn’t thinking about what’s good or bad for business. She’s thinking about the wellbeing of her legion of female and queer fans, who will be some of the people most affected by these midterm elections. As she wrote in her post, “In the past I’ve been reluctant to publicly voice my political opinions, but due to several events in my life and in the world in the past two years, I feel very differently about that now.”

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The Weeknd Wished Bella Hadid Happy Birthday With a PDA-Heavy Instagram

If there are still any lingering questions about whether Bella Hadid and The Weeknd are back together, this new Instagram should clear things up. After sparking rumors of a reunion by appearing together at New York Fashion Week and Cannes, the on-again-off-again couple are most certainly on again, after The Weeknd (whose real name is Abel Tesfaye) posted a romantic series of photos featuring himself and Hadid, in honor of the model’s 22nd birthday.

The photo set begins with a video of the couple passionately making out, a theme that continues throughout the series. There’s a shot of them sitting courtside at a basketball game and another of them holding microphones for what looks like a karaoke session. There’s even a picture of the notoriously private couple in which Tesfaye is sitting beside Hadid as she lays in a bathtub filled with rose petals.

Tesfaye captioned the PDA-filled Instagram post with the message “happy birthday Angel,” followed by a pair of heart emojis. The couple first split in 2016 after a year and a half of dating, according to People. Tesfaye then embarked on a whirlwind romance with Selena Gomez, which ended last year. Things between Tesfaye and Hadid appeared to be heating up again after People reported that they were “all over each other,” “sitting in each other’s laps,” and “definitely looked like they were fully back together” at Coachella this year. But Hadid shot down that report when she commented on an E! News report of the gossip. “It wasn’t me,” she wrote at the time.

Now, after months of speculation, there seems to be no question that Tesfaye and Hadid are a couple once more. But, if you’re expecting a statement from their publicists confirming the rekindling of their romance, don’t hold your breath. These two now seem to be “Instagram official,” which in 2018, is really all that counts.

Hidden Details in the Maniac Hairstyles You Totally Missed

The main draw of Netflix‘s new show Maniac are the amazing dreamscapes, the bizarre and intricate worlds that Annie (Emma Stone) and Owen (Jonah Hill) experience after taking pills given to them during a pharmaceutical trial. The mind-bending adventures are sometimes based in real memories, other times pure fantasy—but each one takes the viewer into the deep recesses of Annie and Owen’s minds.

In other words, these dreamscapes are a visual feast chock full of easter eggs, surreal gags, and cool hair. No, really: Emma Stone’s hair journey is a fun trip in and of itself. So much so that I called the show’s hair department head Fríða Aradóttir to walk me through each look. “It felt like we were doing something different; that possibly wasn’t done in this format before,” she says of filming Maniac. “And that’s really, really exciting.” See her take on the hairstyles, below.

How to Fix Game of Thrones, According to Phoebe Robinson

After binge-watching seven seasons of Game of Thrones last spring, I had a lot of thoughts. Like, will Jon Snow (Kit Harington and his lover/aunt Daenerys (a.k.a. Khaleesi, played by Emilia Clarke ever realize they’re related? Will Cersei (Lena Headey) admit her haircut is hideous? And most important, is there anyone who can get Daenerys and Cersei to stop fighting like a coupla wine-drunk Housewives? Then it hit me: Of course there is. Her name is Cocoa Khaleesi, and she’s the dopest black queen this side of whitey-white Westeros. This is her (and my story.

One evening, after Jon Snow and Daenerys go to the bone zone, Jon wants to talk.

“Babe,” he whispers. “We have to acknowledge the fact that the White Walkers and their army of undead ­zombie freaks are coming.”

“I know,” she says sadly.

“You don’t trust Cersei,” Jon continues, “and she doesn’t trust you. But if you two don’t work together, all of this”—he gestures to the Seven Kingdoms—“is gone. Everything you’ve worked for: my coming back to life. Us. None of it will matter.”

She sighs. “I can do this without her. Don’t you trust me?”

“Of course I do,” he lies.

“Good,” she says and settles back onto her pillow.

Eventually Daenerys falls asleep. Jon steps out of bed and grabs a notebook that’s been tucked under a pillow. He flips through it and finds the ad he’s saved: “The best therapist in the Seven Kingdoms.” He smiles.

The camera cuts to Jon draped in a thick fur coat, standing on a boat as he crosses the sea. After many hours he arrives at a beach. He ties up his boat and surveys the massive mansion before him. It’s a stunning structure with ornate sculptures out front. Michael B. Jordan–looking men stand guard. Jon approaches.

“I’m looking for—”

Before he can finish, the men direct him inside.

It looks like a Solange music video, with gorgeous, unitard-clad black women everywhere. Jon knocks on a door and cracks it open to find a woman behind a regal desk inside.

“Come in!” a voice says dramatically. “I am Phoebe, House of Robinson, the best therapist in the Seven Kingdoms. You may call me Cocoa Khaleesi.”

“Cocoa Khaleesi, I need your help—” he begins.

“I’ve been expecting you. Your homeboy Ser Davos told me everything,” she says. “That dude really likes to gab. You should probably keep an eye on him. Anyway, I’ll do my best to help. Let’s go.”

The camera follows Jon and Cocoa Khaleesi as they return to the island of Dragonstone. After some finagling by Tyrion, ­Cersei and Daenerys agree to sit down with this mysterious newcomer for dinner, where a decadent spread lies before them. A servant piles a plate with food and places it in front of Cocoa Khaleesi.

“Is this seasoned?” she asks her hosts.

“I’m not sure what you mean,” Daenerys says.

“White nonsense,” Cocoa Khaleesi mumbles while pushing the plate away.

“Is there something you’d like to say?” Cersei asks. Her tone is hostile.

“SEASONING. Salt. Pepper. Heard of them?”

“Ah, I heard you were clever,” ­Cersei says. “Would be a shame if this Cocoa Khaleesi got turned into…No-Tongue Khaleesi.”

There is an awkward silence.

“Don’t worry. She always threatens to cut out someone’s tongue. So predictable,” Daenerys says to Cocoa Khaleesi. Then, without prompting, “I am Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen, the Unburnt, Mother of Dragons, Khaleesi to Drogo’s riders—”

“Girl, ain’t nobody trying to hear that no more,” Cocoa Khaleesi says.

Cersei laughs. “Thank you!”

“Calm down! I ain’t on your side either,” she says. “You’re just as bad. That haircut makes you look like a low-budget Tinkerbell from Hook.”

Cersei slowly stands. “I’m not sure where you’re from, but blatant disrespect is frowned upon here, especially in my presence.”

“Well, that certainly explains your face,” Daenerys says.

Fed up, Cocoa Khaleesi snaps. “ENOUGH of this incessant bickering! White Khaleesi, girl, you may not know it, but you’re smashing your nephew. That’s trifling as hell. And Cersei, you’ve been in love with your brother since puberty. You two have waaaay too much in common to be enemies.”

The two warring women stare at each other with intent, then put down their forks.

The camera cuts to Daenerys and Cersei, taking on a sea of zombies as a united front. Back at the mansion, Cocoa Khaleesi hangs up her crown and puts her feet up on her desk. A few of those Michael B. ­Jordan fellas enter holding champagne flutes.

THE END.

Phoebe Robinson’s latest collection of essays, Everything’s Trash, but It’s Okay, is out October 16. Pre-order it here.

PS: You can join Phoebe Robinson, Awkwafina, and more inspiring women for two days of community building and empowerment at Glamour’s annual Women of the Year Summit. Get tickets here!