“I still have more questions. How can you be a latina woman and be gay? You do know being gay is a sin correct,” the bride says, making assumptions about Cardenas’s beliefs. “I will pray for you my friend. I’m sorry that you’ve chosen a path that’s going to send you straight to hell. I think you do beautiful makeup but i just can’t have someone who’s gay being apart of my special day. The wedding is in a church and i don’t want you walking into my church.”
As if that weren’t bad enough, the bride ignorantly suggests that if Cardenas suddenly decides to stop being a lesbian, she’ll hire her, saying, “If you at any chance change your mind about being gay let me know please so i can book you.”
Words like this would be hurtful to anyone who doesn’t identify as straight, but they were especially painful to Cardenas, who told me she had only just recently come out. “I wanted to post [this conversation] for my friends and family because about a month and a half ago, I came out to everyone on social media. I was tired of hiding who I was. And when I had such a positive reaction to me sharing who I was I felt like everyone just needed a little taste of my reality,” she tells Allure, explaining that she’s struggled with facing acceptance in her small Texas town.
The response she’s gotten to the screenshots has been heartening — sympathy, support, love, and a new understanding. “So many friends and family or just strangers had no idea that people could actually be like this. I wanted to share to bring some light on the subject because it’s from someone they know and love,” Cardenas tells Allure. “I’ve been getting such a positive response, so much love and support, whether it be from potential clients, strangers, or someone who’s struggling with their own story. Of course, I have my fair share of awful things still being said to me. I have to brush that aside and focus on the positive.”
In fact, Cardenas tells Allure that even the bride-to-be has reached out after the conversation went viral. “She apologized, but told me it was her wedding and her choice to choose who she wanted doing makeup and hair, and that her beliefs shouldn’t have hurt my feelings,” Cardenas explains. And then, displaying the kind of tolerance Cardenas herself deserves, she says, “I understand where she’s coming from. I just wish she would have been a little nicer about it.”