Associated Press AP

How to Deal with Stress, According to Your Zodiac Sign

Scorpio | Scorpio rising

Scorpio moves into stealth mode at the drop of a hat, so when stressed you withdraw, becoming even more private than usual. Exposure leaves this sign feeling unsafe. Your emotions may be tumultuous and you imagine worst-case scenarios. As a fixed sign, you do not like change or letting go, and if you does, it’s a complete reinvention, like the phoenix. You handle challenges by observing, working out a strategy, then navigating solutions in unlikely ways, like a ninja in the night. Subterfuge was invented by this sign.

Sagittarius | Sagittarius rising

You becomes scattered when stressed, Sag, as well as unreliable—but you know this. You’ll gallop off to get some space as you need to move her body and seek new stimulation in order to find solutions. As the sign of freedom, that’s your safety zone, which an be tough when you’re stuck indoors. This sign is adaptable so you’ll try various approaches to an obstacle. Your best bet: to keep your signature humor and remember your larger vision or higher purpose. Things will get better. When you remember that, you’ll have the fortitude to solve almost any problem or surmount any obstacle.

Capricorn | Capricorn rising

Capricorn’s answer to most things is to work more, to seek control, take on even more responsibility, maybe even boss everyone around by barking (well-meaning!) orders. As a sign linked to lower moods in times of trouble, you could feel extra melancholy or bleak right now. However, Capricorn does love a challenge, and is a realist, always, so there’s no sugarcoating which can actually be helpful. Your biggest challenge right now: give yourself a break and find work-from-home/life balance. Capricorn also doesn’t like to fail, so knowing when to fold ’em or just let certain things go is essential at this time. Choose your mountain wisely!

Can We Please Stop Talking About Weight Loss During a Pandemic?

“Due to coronavirus, my summer body will be postponed until 2021.” Usually this kind of garbage only hits my feed when Jameela Jamil is ranting about #teatox. I’ve worked hard to unfollow any content that’s generally annoying or makes me feel like shit. But since the government issued its guidelines to shelter in place, there’s been a particularly insidious undertone to the posts popping up that I just can’t shake.

Despite the fact we’re going through an unprecedented health crisis, the prevailing message on social media right now is that we’re somehow supposed to be “making the most” of our time spent indoors. Write that novel! Organize your closet! Bake bread! Get quarantine fit!

Now, I don’t blame anyone for taking up a new hobby in order to distract themselves. You can only have so many conversations with your cat until you begin to feel completely deranged. But that last one—the idea that we should be using all this “extra time” to lose weight, or at least not gain any—moves beyond feeling productive and gives into a societal fear I thought we were moving past: Getting “fat.”

The collective fat panic I’ve seen as I scroll through social media is, frankly, appalling. “So will the producers of 600-Pound Life just find me or…” reads one meme that’s surfaced more times than I can count. A photo of Barbie next to a heavier “Carbie” (get it? She ate too much during quarantine? LOL!) has more than 120,000 likes on @girlwithnojob.

But it’s not just the obviously offensive fat jokes that meme accounts and out-of-touch influencers are posting. What’s more shocking are the dozens of frantic weight gain comments—almost all masked in sarcasm or wry self-deprecation—I’ve seen close acquaintances post. These are smart women—the ones who usually rally against diet-talk and fatphobia—that are sharing photos of cookies with captions like, “Going to have to buy a size up after this” or “Looks like I won’t be wearing jeans ever again.” Eating the pasta is what you’re worried about? OK.

A small sampling of the memes going around on social media right now.


It’s not just within my circle of friends either. An alarming amount of people, it appears, are publicly broadcasting their fear that this time indoors will cause them to gain weight.

“I’m seeing so many memes that show before COVID-19 body and after COVID-19 body, or jokes comparing ‘COVID-15’ to the Freshman 15,” says Elizabeth Denton, an L.A.-based writer. “At first I chuckled, but then I thought about what that means. Whoever posted that thinks ‘fat’ bodies are funny or something to be ridiculed.”

The Big Sick And 11 Other Kumail Nanjiani Movies And TV Shows You Should Watch

The Twilight Zone (2019)

If you were too heartless to not notice Kumail Nanjiani’s talent for dramatic acting in The Big Sick, maybe get yourself a free trial of a CBS All Access account and give him a second chance with this intriguing cautionary tale. In the premiere episode of Jordan Peele’s revival of the classic anthology fantasy series, he plays Samir Wassan, a struggling comedian who finally gains the following he had been chasing for years, only to discover that his success is the result of a newfound, unexplainable ability that comes with drastic consequences. If you ask me there is no better episode from the new version of The Twilight Zone than this one, titled “The Comedian,” thanks to its unique concept, thought-provoking message, and, especially Nanjiani’s heartfelt performance.

Meghan Markle Is In Disney+’s Elephant, And People Can’t Get Enough

With this, Meghan Markle had some serious shoes to fill when stepping into the recording booth. Thankfully, it would appear she’s exceeded those expectations. Disney doesn’t typically reuse talent for documentaries but, based on the early response to Markle’s performance, the idea of Disney asking her back for another project isn’t out of the question.

Why The Major Marvel Delays Will Actually Be A Good Thing, Says Doctor Strange Director

Extending from this situation, both of the movies that were originally set to come out this year, Black Widow and The Eternals, were going to do so with less than a year passing between the start of their respective productions and their individual release dates – which is pretty crazy when you think about the scale of their storytelling. Now the titles have been given a little extra time to marinate in post-production, with Black Widow going from May 2020 to November 2020, and The Eternals going from November 2020 to February 2021, and hopefully the filmmakers wind up using that extra time wisely.

11 Star Wars Funko Pops We Can’t Believe They Haven’t Made Yet

As of early 2020, there are no fewer than 300 official Star Wars Funko Pops with who knows how many fan-made and bootleg figurines out in the wild. With the vast number of figures released over the years, you would think that there would be nothing left to make, right? Well, between feature films and Disney+, we’ve gotten new installments to the Star Wars universe, and there are plenty of characters and scenes that have yet to transformed into vinyl figures or see the light of GameStop locations and convention centers around the world.

8 Badass Actors Who Would Be Perfect To Join The John Wick Cast

Iko Uwais

I would give you full permission to dismiss this list as invalid if it didn’t include Iko Uwais, so consider this me saving you the need to leave a negative post in the comments section. For those who don’t immediate recognize the name, Uwais is the star of the two movies in The Raid duology (which is one of the most bone-crunchingly incredible pieces of modern action cinema), and has seen his profile grow recently with roles in Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Stuber, and the upcoming Snake Eyes. Frankly, the only reason I can fathom that the Indonesian star isn’t already a part of the franchise is because Chad Stahelski has been saving him for some kind of grand finale. And, of course, if the series were to bring Uwais on board, it would also be amazing to see…

9 Harry Potter Characters Who Were The Absolute Worst

5. Barty Crouch Jr.

I will admit, being sent to Azkaban before your twentieth birthday by your own father would fill even the purest wizard with rage, but given the influential and highly respected family he comes from, Bartemius “Barty” Crouch Jr. has no excuse for the crimes that earned him his conviction, which he committed when he was only a teen.

Worst acts and attributes: The sworn Death Eater is also a skilled actor, as he proved from his impersonation of Alastor “Madeye” Moody with help from Polyjuice Potion, allowing him to enter Harry Potter’s name in the Goblet of Fire and, as a result, play a crucial role in Voldemort’s resurrection and, indirectly, Cedric Diggory’s murder.

Level of Terribleness: 8/10